Maybe it's just the stress of the exams.
Maybe it's the change in the weather.
Maybe it's just the Christmas season that's approaching.
I walked into the Royal on Gordon today. In case you didn't know, I volunteer there now. I call Bingo. I came to discuss my schedule and some other issues with the person in charge of programs, Kara Thomas. While waiting for her, I heard the organ playing, so after meeting up with Kara, I went to investigate. Turns out, it's John Eccles. Pretty famous guy, he's got his own hall in UofG. Had fun talking to him. Promised I'll see him again and tell him about the Prince of Wales and the Repulse...
Maybe it's just that simple piano songs remind me.
I called Bingo at night, and tonight someone got angry at me. Apparently on behalf of the residents there, they're not "bumbling idiots". Huh. It definitely was my fault. Perhaps I shouldn't have repeated stuff so often. Or maybe I should've called her numbers more. Either way, she didn't win, and no win = unhappiness... I got a little uptight. I wasn't as friendly as I usually was for the last game. I think the other residents could sense that. Sweet, sweet lady gave me this:
Maybe I miss comfort, and a smile that turns a frown upside down.
Another lady told me that I'm doing a great job, and that they love me. Kept repeating "How terrible!" about the person who called me out. She... She does look like her. Too many memories.
Maybe i'm just weak, tired and emotional.
...
Or maybe it's just that I miss her.
It's been 2 and a half months.
Mama, everywhere I look, I still see you. And... And I miss you.
Too much.
Mama, this Christmas, I'm not gonna be with family. I'm not gonna be with friends.
I'll be at the retirement house. I'm not quitting. I'm gonna keep smiling, even at them, the way you liked it, and the way that got you smiling back.
This Christmas, I'm celebrating with the old folks. And i'm celebrating that you're with the birthday Boy. I'm celebrating for you, in your memory too.
Maybe...
Maybe I wanna call you and talk over the phone.
Maybe I miss you more than I care to tell people.
Maybe I do.
His,
MALCOLM
2 comments:
*hug*
The folks at the Royal are very blessed to have you with them my friend :)
and I hope that no bitter elderly vent their feelings at you ever again.
malcolm, it's almost 9 years my grandma passed away, and i still miss her alot! sometimes i will still cry at the night..so, yea sometimes you just love and miss someone too much, but rmb that they are always in our heart =)
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