Saturday, October 17, 2015

Perhaps, Something More?

Ever thought that you were made for something more?

That there must be more than just this in life?

That maybe, just maybe - maybe you were created to change the world?

Perhaps all of us really are heroes under the masks that we so fearfully hang on to.

Perhaps truly, tiny little human beings, in our mortal, finite lives, are able to change the course of history, and the infinite course of the universe, in all of time and space.

Or maybe I'm just a romantic, and an optimist.

But one Man came and changed my life, and the course of the world.

If no man can change the course of history - yet, if one man's direction changes due to something I said or did, did I not just change the world?

Perhaps that's it. Perhaps I'm meant to change the world.

One day at a time, then. Perhaps the day will come when I need to become that hero. Until then, I'll be training. I'll be ready.

Day 0.


Friday, April 24, 2015

A Picture (Today)

Some say they paint a thousand words.

Today I sit and think. The "curse of a thinker", as I like to say, is the unfortunate side effect that they - rather obviously - think.

Thoughts are like wild fire. All it takes to ignite them is a spark. A memory. A sense. A sight, a sound, a scent, a taste, a touch.

And yet details change. The things that matter most in life, they are the memories that remain. A picture from my childhood could have brought bad memories in the past - bad thoughts of what happened, how I was treated, how I treated others. But the only thing such a picture now does is remind me about how life was good.

Even pictures from times when I thought the world around me was ending, where everything seemed bleak. All they serve to do now is remind me that God is good, and then He's always sent people to stand by me through every moment.

Today I saw a picture that could hurt me, and I would be lying if I said it didn't. But I know the truth. The truth is that a picture hides way more than the eye can discern. The layers contained in a picture, especially one with so many elements involved - they can change your perspective of life.

Today, I choose not to be upset. Today, I choose not to be angry.
Today, I choose life.

Today I'll look back at a picture, and I'll smile. The Internet may snap a shot of my life and hold it forever, but it will not snap a bad shot. I claim my right to joy. I know my source of joy.

Today, I start living for today.

Today, I start my 365 project. Today, I live.


Tuesday, August 26, 2014


What is it that really makes someone "beautiful"?

Is it the way they swirl, the way they dance, or the way they spin the yarns that knot your heart?
Or is it the gracefulness in every step, the beauty in every smile, the simple silence that sets them apart?

Is it the pain that you see, seared in their eyes - the pain of a broken soul?
Or is it the rare moments where, perchance by fate, perchance by sheer silliness, their smile, you behold?

Is it the joy that radiates and glows among the others that surround you?
Or is it the glow that loves inside the hearts of those that believe it true?

Is it your eyes which seem to reflect your hurt, and tell me you've seen too much?
Or is it the wonder that with such hurt, these memories, still, you clutch?

I always wondered what it takes, that makes beauty... Beauty.
And beholding such beauty, what does that mean for me?

"Beauty is a social construct". "Everyone is beautiful". I know, I know.
But if it's a personal opinion, what events transpired that made "I think you're really beautiful" become difficult words to flow?

Why is it acceptable to stare at the beauty of nature,
But rude to gaze into facial features?


What or why beauty is, I guess I'll never know.
But whoever designed it all... Man! He's a true Van Gogh!


Saturday, March 30, 2013

I Woke Up This Morning, Wishing I Never Did.

I woke up this morning, wishing I never did.

Going to sleep last night was bad enough already. I still can't believe it. What happened yesterday - there's no way it could possibly be true. I stared at my hands, and buried my face deep within them.

How did they... Why did he...

Arrrgggghhhh! Darn tears! Have I not had enough of you over the last 2 days?

This was unfair. Totally, utterly, and completely unfair! all these years following him, and he just... They just...

Wasn't it just 2 days ago when we were sitting at the table together enjoying a meal? All the brothers were together, and we were all having such a blast...

Come to think of it, that was a weird night too. What did he mean by "this is my body"? And why in the world would he wash our feet? We walked around quite a bit that day looking for this Passover place he specified.

Curses, Jude! What was he thinking? He was one of us! Heck, he was better than most of us! He knew the law better than any one of us! He even held our funds! Our rations! To think that I even went up to him and asked him questions when I was confused about the law...

Wait - When Rabbi said "go do it quickly" to Jude - did he...? No. No way. No freaking way.

But didn't he know? Didn't he always know? Like the time we went to get food for him while we were in Samaria? And he didn't want any? It's almost like he just wanted us to leave for awhile...

Or what about that time he called me? How'd he know to tell us to throw down our nets to that side of the boat? How did those fish get there? I left everything that day - everything. I wonder how the fishing business is going. Did Joey take over the business? Probably. What did Rabbi mean by "fishers of men" anyway?

Pete always rushed headfirst. He really needs to learn to think things through.Wait, how did Rabbi know about Pete betraying him?

... How did he know about us all betraying him?

He was supposed to save us!

What was I thinking? Johnny and I, asking about sitting at his side at the throne and stuff? What do we have now?

Darned tears. Darn you! I'm so ashamed. So very ashamed. Forgive me, Rabbi. I'm a useless disciple. One of his "main three"?

A coward. That's what I am.

Pete's probably still out somewhere crying. I think we all are.

It's Sabbath, huh? That's probably a good thing. I'm not leaving this bed. Not today. Not going to work. Like it makes a difference. Left it for too long already.

I'm confused. So confused. So very confused.

Wish you were... Still here... Jesus.

Friday, October 26, 2012

What Kind of A...

What kind of a world is it, when JUSTICE is not served, where someone can commit a CRIME, know they did wrong, and escape any form of PUNISHMENT simply because they say that they "weren't aware" that such a LAW existed?

A broken world.

Discipline. Respect and discipline. It's what we need.

Or love. Maybe what we need is love.

Lots of it.

On a side note, Salam Aidiladha to my Muslim friends. May the sacrifice be ever meaningful, and may the understanding of God's being be ever clearer.


Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Super Power



I wish I have the ability to teleport to those in despair and give them a hug.

Just so that when they feel that the world may be against them, The Lord is not. And that there are His people who care.

Yeah! That'd be pretty awesome!

(Changing default answer for the question of "if you had one super-power, what would it be?")


Saturday, February 25, 2012


People fear it,
But they want it.

We see it,
Yet we don't want to ask about it.

We hate it,
Yet we know we need it.

We don't want it,
But sometimes, we know we need it.

When it hits,
We want the past to return.

When it doesn't,
We ask for it to come.

We need it.

Ready, change?
Here I come.