Saturday, January 22, 2011

Everyone Has a Story

Everyone has a story. This... This is mine.

If there ‘s one thing and just one thing I’d have to say I’ve been craving all my life, I’d have to say that it would be “a sense of belonging”. Actually, to be honest, it’s always been more of a fear of losing that very sense of belonging that freaks me out. You see, ever since I was young, I was always included in everything. I learnt that the way to be successful is to be the centre of attention. Whether it was being the teacher’s pet, or doing what everybody else does, or even to the extent of physically abusing my friends, I found it satisfying being everyone’s favourite. Or... Did I?

You see, the whole problem with just “belonging” can be summarized in four words - “It’s never QUITE enough”. Mentally, I understood the whole concept of being a “good person” when it was required. In fact, I even knew how to be a “model” person. Being praised, and having people pay attention to me was one of the greatest joys I could find. But there’s where the whole issue was. I was bitter inside. And whenever I felt that I didn’t belong quite enough, the bitterness welling up inside came out. To put it in simple terms, I was an angry kid. A REALLY angry kid.

Funny how life works out, isn’t it? You see, all my life I grew up with great Christian parents (and I think they’re the best parents in the world, but I might be biased), and I always heard about this “God” person. I knew that people who followed this “Jesus” person are called Christians, and I knew how they were supposed to act. Yet, who- no... Rather WHAT was that to me?

Well one day I heard a message that changed my life. It was a story of love. A love, so crazy that I’d even dare call it madness. It was about a man who lived a perfect life, never did anything wrong, and knew a friend who was quite a scoundrel. One day though, when his friend was about to be punished for committing heinous crimes, because he loved his friend so much, this perfect man took the place of his friend. Everyone scorned upon him, even his friend. And what did he do? He even gave up all he had, and wrote everything in his will in his friend’s name. So the question now is, what will the friend do with it? Will he live his life in memory of his friend who loved him so much, or ignore everything to do with him, not even accepting whatever’s in his friend’s will?

Now here’s the creepy part. The perfect man was Jesus. The scoundrel? That’s me. And in His death, He gave me the option of becoming God’s child. I was left with an option. What would I do with my life?

In light of Jesus’ complete and total acceptance as well as love for the wreck that I am, I broke into tears. Here’s someone who gave up everything he had because he loves me. The selfish, bitter, angry ME.

There’s something about love and what it does to you. It changed alot about the way I think. I didn’t care so much that I’m accepted and in the middle of everything anymore. When you know someone loves you IN SPITE of, not BECAUSE of what you do, it messes you up. You live for Him. You love Him back. And in turn, you find peace. People noticed that I started getting angry less. I felt joy.

Well I won’t my story’s over. In fact, it’s far from over. I still stumble once in awhile, but He’s always there to pick me up. My story’s actually turned into a love story now. You know, one of those stories where the hero loves the heroine and does all the crazy stuff for her, but she only falls in love with him at the very end, when everyone’s like “oh so you FINALLY understand!”

More than anything, I found a sense of eternal belonging, a belonging like no other, one that cannot be extinguished, nor is by any means temporal.

I found my sense of belonging in One who is in His very being, love. As for you, I hope you find it too.

Everyone has a story. Mine’s far from ended. What’s yours gonna be like?

Love so amazing, so divine,

Demands my soul, my life, my all.